I'm still on swans.
If you've seen the movie, you might have asked yourself if you are the Black Swan or the White one.
That's totally the point too. Everyone has a bit of both in them of course.
I think socially I am definitely possessed by the mischief and passions of the Black Swan.
The White one, however is written all over me in this search for my creative future.
Timidity and reserve definitely hold me back; and for what? It just prolongs my development.
Fear. That's what it is. It's a fear of trying really hard and coming up short. It's a fear of spending so much time trying so hard on something that might not pan out - and then running out of time entirely and never getting anywhere. It's a fear of starting something new because it might turn in to one of the above. And it's definitely a fear of trying to be someone I'm not.
Except that I am. I just can't admit it to myself yet.
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